


Frank Fails His Intelligence Roll

by bigduckenergy



Category: At The Mountains of Dadness, Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29079342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigduckenergy/pseuds/bigduckenergy
Summary: Summaries are hard :( It's about Frank and the AMOD characters.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Frank Fails His Intelligence Roll

He met Meryl first, supposedly.

“You know I’ve never cared for children,” He said.

“Somehow that’s not surprising,” Robert replied. 

Sally laughed. 

Frank knew this exact dialogue because he’s heard his parents recite it word for word at least three times a year since the day he could talk. It wasn’t that funny or interesting, but he guessed his parents wanted to make sure he knew that they were friends with sexy asian silent film star Meryl Streep. 

Looking back on it Frank wished he could say the same. From the stories he’d heard, he sounded like an interesting character. 

Then his father pulled out the home videos and he got to see Meryl being a human being and not a sexually charged movie villain. 

There was something about him that was truly star-like; an old man in a black suit with slick grey hair sitting on the family sofa, looking at someone off screen, a cigar dangling in one hand and a red cane clutched in the other. Frank was comfortable enough with himself to admit he might have had some untoward feelings for the man on the screen, but honestly who didn’t?

➖

He met Stud at his father’s retirement party. All tall and broad with angry scars across his eyes. Frank nearly didn’t notice the mousy little boy on his shoulders.

First impression: Solemn and intimidating. Be polite but stay wary.

Frank watched as he walked over to him and his father by the drinks. 

“Stud!” Robert gasped. 

The man grinned, but then seemed to remember something and went back to looking gloomy.

“The boy’s gotta kid,” He said quietly, leaning into Robert like he was telling a secret.

Frank and Robert both panned their sight up at the boy, who wore coke bottle glasses and a nervous frown. 

His father seemed to understand the severity of that statement and sighed.

“Frank, this is my old pal Stud,” 

Stud tipped his cap at him.

“And Stud, this is my son, Frank,”

Stud shook the boy on his shoulders gently. 

“Hi I’m Ron,” the boy said after a moment, in a stilted voice.

Stud grinned again.

“There we go! He’s shy for sure, but I’ve been trying to get him to open up a little,”

Frank reached to shake Ron’s hand.

“Well it’s nice to meet both of you gentlemen,”

Him and Frank’s father fell into conversation as if they hadn’t not seen each other in 50 years. 

Second impression: A sweet old New Yorker with a love for song and dance? 

➖

Hildy had been in and out of his family’s lives for as long as he could remember. 

Every few years his mother would yell up at his room (or through the telephone) that Aunt Hildy was dropping by for dinner. 

She’d tell them the gruesome stories she’d been investigating for the length of time she was gone, have a private talk with Robert, kiss Sally on the cheek, plop a present in Frank’s lap, and then rush out the door onto her next adventure. His mother would stand smiling in the entryway saying “That woman is a whirlwind”. 

The day after Casey was born, Hildy called Frank, her voice booming congratulations and promises of baby gifts through the receiver. 

Within the next few months him and Anita were bombarded by packages. Hildy didn’t seem to have a solid idea of what you’re supposed to give an infant, so they kept the dollhouse and experiment kits in storage for when Casey was older.

The call he got the day after Darryl’s birth was a lot less celebratory. Expecting her usual eccentricity, he picked up enthusiastically, only to be met with a terrified Hildy sobbing about black tape in her arms.

Frank did his best to console her and promised he’d get help before hesitantly hanging up and running to his father’s house. Robert didn’t say a word when Frank tried to put together what Hildy was saying. The ride to her motel room felt like a scene from an action movie. Everything was too fast yet entirely not fast enough.

“I think she’s going senile, dad,” Frank was barely in his seatbelt before Robert hit the gas and ended up bumping his head on the roof. 

Robert shook his head, looking more serious than Frank had ever seen him before. He told Frank to stay in the car and not to mention this to anyone, especially not his mother. As a 42 year old man, Frank didn’t like being treated like a kid, but with the strangeness of the situation he decided to stay quiet. 

➖

“I don’t know if telling you this is going to change you the same way it changed us, but I needed to get this out there,” 

The story he was just told made zero sense. Frank could feel something wrap around his mind as he looked into his father’s eyes. Robert had hazel eyes; brown as the base color, yellow outlining the iris, black streaks and green dots and tiny red veins all over the whites of his eyes and--

No. His father has PTSD. Those films were made so long ago and Frank watched them when he was a kid, Meryl only looked black and white because children’s memories aren’t reliable. Stud was a construction worker in the 1930s and 40s, of course he was injured. Hildy must’ve had an undiagnosed mental disorder and was likely succumbing to her age.

“I think you should take it easier, dad,” He said.

Robert’s face dropped. 

As much as he hated to see his father like this, what else was he supposed to say?

In that same instant Robert went from completely mortified to… relieved? He got up, slowly, and patted Frank on the shoulder. He left the room laughing to himself. 

Frank couldn’t tell if his father had fully lost it or if this was all a test.


End file.
